we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think i got beer on your cat.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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