the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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