We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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