do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
