Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
