I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize