There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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