I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
