idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
