we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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