hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
