I will die if light touches me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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