You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
