So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
