these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
