Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
