Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
