He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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