He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
