he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
