yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Someone signed my nipple.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
