You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she peed on how many people?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
