I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
