You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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