So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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