Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
