OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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