did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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