She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
