1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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