Pants 0. Shit 1.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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