the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
