If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
