he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
