He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize