I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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