these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
