it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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