Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
