dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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