No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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