If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think your dad took our porno
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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