of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
