He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize