I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
