just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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