I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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