Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize