Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
