It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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