dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
