oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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