ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
as a side note pls kill me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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