I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
