i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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