Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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