We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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