the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
