I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize