tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he shaved USA in his pubs
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
