he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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