Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
