So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just tell him i said nine months
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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