i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
